Fan Blog

Blog written by: Thelonius Jacobi Davenport III

The Great Debate: Who is DJ Driftwood?

Everyday, I get thousands upon millions of electronic mails and text messages asking for the real identity of DJ Driftwood.

"Who is that man under the baseball/trucker cap Thelonius?" they demand! "You're the only non-band member that has ever got close enough to reveal". I know guys, I know.

The truth of the matter is, I don't actually know. I'm so confused, it goes against every natural theory I've ever learned about the God-given physique or the structure of the human face! By which I mean, his face never looks the same twice!!!! Impossible you cry! Well, for the last seven years I have tracked the guys from their opening gigs in Ashford all the way to their rock out shows in Aberdeen. I have stood outside recording sessions and practices in the pouring rain, hid in bushes and on roof tops trying to get a glimpse of DJ Driftwood but to no avail.

Even in preparation for gigs he shiftily moves his DJ equipment from this dark and dingy basement in the back streets of nowhere. Then with great haste he speeds in an unregistered blackened out Renault Megane into the shadows of the night. Once at the gigs, he then is strategically placed behind the band, sporting a trucker cap and looking down at his decks. The man is unidentifiable!! Pure coincidence? I think not!

Fortunately for you, I have tirelessly been working around the clock to think of some possible matches. Thanks to a photo secretly supplied by one of the band members, who shall remain nameless, this is my theory

Clint Eastwood, or even the son of Clint Eastwood (hence the "wood" in his DJ name).

And/or:

Hugh Jackman/Wolverin: He has a striking resemblance to Hugh Jackman, who played Wolverine in the X-Men trilogy (hence the elusiveness and morphing face). Yes!!! Now we are getting somewhere. I feel like a modern day Sherlock Holmes!

That's all I have so far but I, Thelonius Jacobi Davenport III, vow on behalf of my fellow loyal Fundamental Skillz fans to hunt out who this man is. The clock is against you DJ Driftwood, the clock is against you! It's only a matter of time before my court injunction to stay away from you expires! Until then,

Kindest Regards
Thelonius Jacobi Davenport III
Roadie/Number 1 fan to the skillz!

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The Great Debate: Who is DJ Driftwood?